Style Tips: Papa Lazarou

  • When you like someone, make sure you show the full extent of you appreciation and make them your wife.
  • Call everyone who is your wife one particular name.
  • Keep a portfolio of your wives. Take polaroid pictures, write their names on them. Then scratch them out and write their designated name/number.
  • Remember to have regular make up sessions with your 'wives'. And hosing sessions.
  • Keep an assistant wife with you whenever you can. Make sure they fluently speak your language, have a knack for stealing taps & can read fortunes (very important these days).
  • Brown trenchcoat
  • Red tailcoat
  • Red/black waistcoats
  • Red/black long sleeved shirts.
  • Brogue shoes
  • White gloves.
  • Have a persona you can take on when you want to blend in.
  • Volunteer at a charity shop.
  • Hone in on your psychic powers
  • And your ability to speak fluent gibberish. Or, invent your own language.
  • Own a gypsy caravan. You don't necessarily have to be a traveller. Papa has many houses.
  • Learn how to ride/control a horse drawn carriage.
  • Start your own circus/travelling carnival.
  • Skull belt buckles.
  • Adopt a peculiar voice.
  • Keep lots of strange and wonderful animals
  • Top hat.
  • Black and white polka dot bandana.
  • Sell something which you can hide inside your trenchcoat. It could be pegs, however false teeth and bottle caps are also interesting.
  • Have dark curly hair.
  • Black contact lenses.
  • Paint your face like a minstrel.
  • Wear a lot lot lot of rings. Preferrably your wives. Around your neck and on your hands.
  • Make sure all your jewellery is gold.
  • Play in the dirt. Wipe your hands off on peoples' doors.
  • Study the anatomy of animals. And medicine. Apparently, putting your wives inside animals is one of the most effective ways of keeping them, studies reveal.
  • Defy age. Become immortal.
  • Work on your charisma/salesman skills.


  1. Oh dear, you moved the URL back again, no wonder I wasn't getting any updates. I really ought to watch this don't I?

  2. Do you take internet wives?

  3. I'm sorry Dave, it won't happen again... and yes, I do take internet wives (*opens wife cage*)